#i can't help myself dudes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

depodraws · 4 months ago

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My deadclaws wip that I started and then proceeded to be hit with the Big Burnout. Very fun movie I love the toxic old man yaoi

#deadpool #deadpool fanart #wolverine #wolverpool #deadclaws #deadpool 3 #deadpool x wolverine #wade wilson #logan howlett #deadpool movie #fanart #wip #art wip #work in progress #deposdailydrawing #I know that I've drawn a lot of spideypoool #but I can't help myself when i see two dudes literally trying to kill eachother

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sherlock-is-ace · 2 months ago

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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why #i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol #but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol #cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people #so i convince myself that i'm better alone #and i am for the most part #but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair #like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude #were healthier than now #because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit #and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still #and i fully know I'M the problem #cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs #(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all #and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol #i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today #but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on #if only i could be a normal person... sigh #angel talks #personal

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bitchy-peachy · 8 days ago

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I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.

#sa mention #proship #fandom discourse #fiction is the closest i can feel to normal cos my severe ptsd irl makes me violent if strangers so much as brush up against me #we all handle it differently and yes i write utterly fucked up shit to desensitize myself & somehow managed to stabilized through the years #despite me still having my snappy “scary” moments if people touch me without permission and i punched a dude for standing too close to my #back. he was literally smelling me and i lost my shit and now im banned from that walgreens but meh #now im unloading in the tags but if you're an anti sincerely gfy cos y'all literally attack sa victims on here like its your day job #y'all also don't know the first thing about psychology cos guess who's a psychologist here??? yes this unhinged bitch that covers up like a #gothic church mommy and cusses like a trucker is an actual professional in the field. i studied thinking studying psychology would make me #cope better... it somewhat did help but i should have just gone to a therapist rather than bottling in a going to a freaking university #yes i troll and say fucked up shit on here. this is a social media for my fandom shit so i aint gonna act like the doc i was ages ago and #fiction actually can help some people (especially those like me who are still having violent ptsd eps affecting them) little by little #retake their lives back #there's other forms of therapy but not everything works for everyone and its ridiculous to put all victims under the same umbrella #and its condescending and ignorant af to expect all sa victims to be your perfect little victims of convenience and treat us like crap cos #not all of us fit your toxic narrative of attacking freaking fake people in a nonexistent fictional world.#i have friends that are sa victims that can't handle it in fiction but they know thats my mechanism. since im a now retired professional #i have done everything i can to help them cos yes there's multiple ways to help victims cope with this. even regression exercises help #but that's another thing #and it involves multiple sessions. i no longer practice but can teach people some techniques to regulate their emotions in high stress #situations cos the aftermath of sa is brutal regardless of how you cope with it #you'll need a support group to catch you when you can't handle it sometimes. you're not alone or broken. pls know this

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byanyan · 8 months ago

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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.

thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜

#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh #I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling #it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh #anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh #but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free #to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it)#I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh #love u guys ok ty 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

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smile-files · 1 year ago

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just a kind word for all of you lovely folks out there: if you say the r-slur or you don't call out your friends for saying it then i hate your guts :)

#melonposting #i'm writing my piece for the ada's open letter in our school newspaper. and oh my god i am so angry!!!!!!!!!!!! :D #like to kill an ableist reblog to kill an ableist. you know the drill #ughhhh my school is supposed to be super progressive and it is in a lot of ways #but hmmmm no punishment for saying the r-slur? people using autistic and sped and disabled and bipolar and psychotic as insults 24/7?#forgive me if my math is wrong but it just doesn't add up! :)#and don't get me started on people throwing around the term 'intrusive thoughts' like it's soooo cute and quirky #dude. i literally get intrusive thoughts. please leave the school building and never come back. expel yourself #'tee hee i let the intrusive thoughts win!!' and i will win in hand to hand combat against you. shut up #if you reading this are someone i know at school who did something like this don't come groveling to me #it doesn't help. if anything it just makes me feel guilty for calling you out #and for goodness sake you know i can't stand up for myself. please call people out for their sick bs when you know i can't #thank you :'D

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elmodoescrimes · 3 months ago

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My moral compass is like a fucking russian roulette wheel sometimes. I throw a dart to choose hills to die on.

#please help #im not okay #morality #morality is relative #sometimes I scare myself #and the people around me #because im normally a perfectly nice dude #but also a morbid fascination with corpses and things that look morbid #and skulls #but hey! Im wearing yellow and loosing spectacularly at cards #so I can't be that scary! (:#(:

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jettoooooo · 6 months ago

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i'm so fucking stressed out

#dude my dog had acl repair surgery in march #she's healed fine with that but developed stomach issues #so she's been back and forth to the vet with that #and now when i was at work she just randomly started walking weird as fuck. she kicks her leg that was operated on backwards as she walks #and sometimes looses balance in both legs #and then when i pick her up she acts like it hurts her spine or something #i'm gonna wake up in 4 hours to call the vet and see if they can see us today and pray that this isn't something that she'll need surgery #for again #i also am supposed to work tomorrow and then friday we have a rehearsal dinner and then saturday the wedding which is two hours away.#vets closed on sunday so if she can't get seen tomorrow it'll be a whole new fiasco trying to get her helped somewhere else #this dog is my lifeline like it #ruins me #seeing her like this #genuinely if i didn't have her i wouldnt be here #it's so hard to watch her not even be able to walk #but it's so fuckinf weird bc my mom said she was just laying in her bedroom and she came back out doing it? there's nothing she could've #gotten into it just makes no fuckinf sense #like it's possible either her kneecap or her acl implant thing popped out of place but #she stiffens her entire body when i pick her up #and she acts like she's losing balance #it's so fucking weird #i'm also terrified that i'm about to get told she has some kind of onset of neurological problems and she'll have to get put down #or something along those lines #it's just too much rn #pls keep my doggy in ur thoughts #we just spent 3k on her surgery in march if she has to get operated on again first of all the recovery process all over again sounds like #a nightmare #but just the cost alone #i'm gonna FUCKING KILL MYSELF

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abyssal-author-and-artist · 19 days ago

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guards fetch me the Image. the one that says "you can do whatever you want you want forever".

#screaming out of the abyss #please i'm going to die i'm taking myself too seriously #I'm taking a break from the ''help I can't chill right now I'm taking myself too seriously'' fic #and instead i'm going to write the ''what the fuck Xander. Oh Change. What are you doing with Mal Du Pays.'' fic #for a lil bit #i need a break dude

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lesbiansanemi · 2 months ago

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I'm so tired

#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl #but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes #but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man #i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that #my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment #my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to #my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b #on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical #i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi #i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o #hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me #i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that #and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other #but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently #i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break #i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember #so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the #chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it #i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways #and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can #i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point #i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay #but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet #i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it #kaz rambles

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running-in-the-dark · 2 months ago

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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.

anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.

#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet #bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so #good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I #read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is #not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all #plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help #and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're #fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go #ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to #live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day #finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it #okay rant over I'm going to sleep now #personal

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blatantlyhidden · 1 year ago

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#tw trauma #venting #i know it's been over two years now and i should probably stop thinking/talking about this #but i can't get over how my ex behaved towards me despite knowing my past and trauma #how he kept pushing my boundaries and making me feel bad for even setting them despite very well KNOWING my reasons #like this dude KNEW about my past and STILL behaved this way #how he wanted me to “get help for my issues” but only as a disguise to get what HE wants #telling me that if i didn't get a therapist within the next year he'd break up #i forced myself to do things i never wanted and now deeply regret #i set a boundary and could watch it being ignored weeks later #when i broke up with him he wished terrible things for me and told me to fuck myself #and even after that he kept on trykng to contact me on every possiblr social media months after #last time he contacted me was in july this year.....we broke up OVER 2 YEARS AGO #i'm glad i left but i have so much unresolved shit that i just cannot let it go #like that shit sits deep #this is so much oversharing i'm so sorry #will probably regret posting this and delete but i had to get it out #can't keep annoying my friends with this #again sorry

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potionboy3 · 9 months ago

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been thinking of making another rovere family member but i'm not sure of what year he would be born... so here's yet another concept.

#rovere family #he's definitely from achille's line but on more modern era #most likely he would be vita's brother #aka declans uncle #not sure if he would be her older or younger brother though #might open him up for love interest or other interaction but i need to figure out some details first #nobody asked for a new rovere but i can't help myself #might give him some angelo's traits though and possibly make him be a seer or legilimens #most likely he's a slytherin #and possibly a death eater since there's some plot for the connections with the fam but im still debating on that #so yeah pretty much a concept of a character #i might make some video of the dude to get a better idea of him but i dont know i dont know #ludovico rovere

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disaster-vampire · 11 months ago

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ngl i'm getting real tired of male tattoo artists mansplaining tattooing to me the moment it comes up that i'd like to pursue it as a profession and trying to dissuade me with 30 minute rants filled with scary words. then proceeding to fuck up the simplest design i could draw for them.

#bro was like i have 20 years of experience and then can't fucking draw a straight line on top of the stenciled design #and he had the audacity to say the one i did myself was shit when 1. i freehanded it 2. it's on my chest which is one of the hardest spots #to tattoo on yourself and 3. i literally stick'n'poked it. and my lines came out straighter than his. FREEHAND. ON MY OWN CHEST.#doesn't help that i still mostly present as female since most of the people i come out to don't even pretend to respect my transness #like i do wonder if they pull this shit with other dudes #anyway i don't even pass while binding and even if i did i'd come off as quite effeminate from the way i dress so i haven't been bothering #when i say it doesn't help that i still present as female i meant it doesn't help make a case for him btw. i wanted to clarify that

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snazum · 4 months ago

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me trying to stroll thru the ted nivison tag on tumblr for some sick art X READER, IMAGINE, OTHER THINGS I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF EVEN THO IT'S QUITE LITERATLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME XDD

#No shade btw I get it #look. I was on mcyt wattpad as a small small SMALL child and I mean FUCKING TINY #and I get it!#Where are the fanartist tho I want art grrrrr #do I have to do everything myself #anyways guys can u tell that maybe i've found myself in a new yt fixation.... erm #like 4 chuckle sandwich podcasts and a barbie movie review and i'm in the trenches #seriously though i do think that most of it is stemming from my video creation fixation #i blame school coming up #SCHLATTS MONKEY VIDEOW???? Beautiful editing i want to edit like that #don't know the editor off the top of my head sorry #i'm going crazy over video creation honestly and they're my vessels (This is very hyperbole)#snazum talks #I have an idea cooking btw.... maybe I'll share it here when i'm done but otherwise i'm gonna be tight lipped about it :)#if ur a mootie/friend tho feel free to ask me in dms :D I can't help but want to ramble bout it #I may be a little shy though since it's not embarrasing per say but i also don't like talking bout it that much #It's nothing serious it's actually the most not serious thing ever but i feel like a bragging bitch when i talk about it so i don't #but also i want to talk about it. cause the subject matter isn't even what i'm proud about it's the idea of how to present it that is #this is so vague i'm so sorry i started fucking rambling in these tags jesus christ #why am i like this ANYWAYS YEAH BYE #EDIT: okay but tbf back to the original point i didn't think this shit would be main tagged?#I find it usually isn't when it comes to rpf stuff but what do i know #all i know is 2012/2014....#the trenches dude.#u don't want to see my old art it contains so many terrible terrible youtubers #I sure know how to pick em #i think the amount i ramble in tags really really represents my adhdness #i got fucking diagnosed and i'm scared to say that i'm just gonna say my quirkyness

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iwakuraz · 4 months ago

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"you'll be fine at school you just need to answer people when they talk to you!" yeah sorry its always my fault somehow isn't it

#mole talks #i do answer people #if i dont answer somebody then that means:#a) they did not make it clear they were talking to me #b) they were being mean towards me #c) i could not physically answer them at the time #d) they never fucking talked to me in the first place #and honestly. most of the time its reason D. most of the time people don't say ANYTHING to me and then expect me to answer them #like i'm some sort of mind reader #hahaha i'm so excited to go back to a school where nobody respects what i am #i'm so excited to be called the R slur! i'm so excited to lock myself in a bathroom stall and cut myself! i love school!#i'm so excited to not be able to hear a word the teacher says because all of my classmates won't stop talking #seriously how can i understand anything if i can't hear it being explained to me #and when i ask for help nothing changes #oh thats another thing. so excited to see the school counseller #and just lie to her #i don't evem want to lie to her. oh my fucking god dude #school is a good concept. i love to learn and i want to learn #but i just cannot do this #theres no way #why does it have to be like this #:[#i just need to draw gay cats and listen to music #that will cure me

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untitledhjonkster · 2 years ago

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Made some memes, also this is my first post ever on this app lol

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